Jackie of All Trades Episode 1: The Backstory

Meet Jackie. Just a normal stay-at-home mom trying to navigate the world of DIY.

I’m Jackie Terrence, formerly known as Jackie Winston, but you may call me Jackie of All Trades if you wish. I have always enjoyed learning new skills and exploring new interests. Case in Point: In high school, I was on yearbook staff, drama club president, sang soprano in choir, participated in FFA (I liked a roper boy but ended up enjoying learning about bovines) and 4-H (cake decorating and STEM programs), took piano and dance lessons.

Maybe that  just sounds like your typical high-schooler trying out lots of things, but it got even crazier in college. I won’t rehash all my activities as that might take all day. But in my higher education days, I experienced five different majors: Music, Engineering, Teaching, Journalism, and finally obtained a degree in Creative Writing, after five grueling years at Northeastern Missouri College. A degree, I’m certain, Dave Ramsey would consider worthless.

There was some wisdom in Dave’s advice about profitable majors, as for the last ten years I haven’t been able to find a degree in my field. After two years at a daycare and three years at a car dealership, I got married to the amazing Paul Terrence, contractor  extraordinaire and moved to the small town of Alton, Illinois about 30 miles north of St. Louis, Missouri, where we currently reside in our humble abode. After we got married, I got a job as an elementary school secretary in my new hometown, but I knew I wouldn’t make a career out of that as I was hoping to have children fairly soon and stay home with them.

As if right on cue, I had my first child, Brody, a boy, two years later. Brody, now four years old, and baby Mia take up  most of my time these days as a stay-at-home mom. Or domestic engineer, if you think that sounds better.

But at last, my writing career is about to take off. It isn’t specifically a creative writing job, but it does reinforce my reputation as Jackie of All Trades. Here’s how this all went down:

For several months I was in a major funk. It had been a pretty brutal fall and winter, and by February I was almost at my wits end. I had been stuck in the house with the kids for what seemed like ages. If it wasn’t snow or ice, it was sickness after sickness. Sometimes me, sometimes one or both of the kids.

I do have a pretty active social life and go to some mom groups and bible studies in my community, but wasn’t able to make it to them very much that winter. I needed something I could do during nap time at home.

Also, I should have been thrilled that Paul’s business was thriving so well, but he worked long hours, and to be honest, I was getting a little jealous of his success while I was at home cleaning up puke and diarrhea. So instead of having some kind of online emotional affair with an old boyfriend on Facebook (a  la Desperate Housewives), I decided to go the morally and emotionally healthy route and look for some freelance work I could do from home.

Immediately, I knew who should I contact: my old college professor from Northeastern, Steve Daina. (And no, he wasn’t one of those aforementioned old boyfriends, in case you were wondering). I took many of his classes in college and he taught me practically everything I know about writing. I knew he was up on all the current writing trends and all the ins and outs of publishing, since I followed him and his blog on Facebook (the mecca of all experts). I decided to do the bold thing and…Facebook message him. Oh yes, much gutsier than a phone call.

Steve, being the great guy he is, messaged me back the same day asking me what exactly I was looking for. I told him I was pretty much desperate for anything I could do at my own leisure (within a reasonable period of time) from home. He said he had something in mind that would be maybe less than ideal, but something I could possibly help him with.

And, just like that, I became Jackie of All Trades. You see, for awhile Steve has been freelance editing e-books to supplement his income. He had a project he’d been wanting to tackle for awhile but didn’t want to do it by himself. He was looking for a guinea pig basically to write about their experiences trying out DIY projects in a mini e-book format.

What I would have to do is do a bit of research, either on the Internet or from DIY books on how to do a certain skill or hobby and try it myself. Then I would have to write about my experience,  both the successes and failures. In the failure sections, I would have to write what went wrong and how I later fixed my mistakes. Yes, it’s a little bit like Pinterest Fail but maybe with a little  more professionalism. I would possibly even interview some experts to help me. Then Steve would edit and self-publish the e-book and do the marketing. I would receive a percentage of profits to be determined at a later date.

You can probably tell I’m not much of a businesswoman, as I immediately accepted the assignment without much question of the payment, rights or anything else. I’m pretty trusting and heck, I don’t want to deal with the publishing and marketing side of things myself. So off I went to check out some of those (insert topic here) for Dummies books at the local library and bookmarked about a jillion DIY blogs, looking for an interesting topic.

So here I am on this blog sharing all the funny (and not so funny) side effects from trying to do all these DIY projects. You know, things that I probably can’t put in the books. As you’ll see, some of them involve huge embarrassments or personal issues I’ve had with my family and friends as a result of the projects that don’t quite fit with the DIY genre of literature. Reality TV, maybe, but not what Steve is going for.

Join me next time when I share the delightful story of how I tried the oldest hobby of them all: Gardening. ::Cringe::

Acceptable Addictions Part I: Caffeine

Welcome to a short blog series about addictions which are, for the most part, culturally and socially acceptable in America. I know there is a big problem with drug, alcohol, and gambling addictions in our country, but I will save that discussion for another time. I would like to devote the next month or so to discussing the addictions many of us have that make us unhealthy physically, emotionally, and even spiritually; yet these addictions are not considered serious problems by most. In fact, the first addiction I will be discussing, caffeine addiction, is often promoted in the workplace, on social media (such as facebook statuses, twitter posts, and memes), and in the line at Starbucks.

I know I'm going to step on the toes of many avid espresso lovers, but it's something I've struggled with (and still struggle with to this day). So let me share with you the possible problems associated with caffeine addiction, including those which I have personally experienced.

Because of my many caffeine "hangovers" I experience after a day or two of over-imbibing on the frappuccinos and chai lattes I love so much, I have come to recognize the seriousness of caffeine addiction. Some of you may think I'm being ridiculous, but it really is a problem for many. So when I see a quote like this one:
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. ~ David Barry
I don't really find it all that funny. I kind of want to roll my eyes. Medical need? I know this is a joke, but if you really think you have a medical need for coffee, you may have symptoms of another medical condition like fatigue, fibromyalgia or thyroid dysfunction. Or, maybe you just need more sleep.

If you're on the go constantly, it's easy to just grab your coffee and keep on going. The tougher thing is to cut things out of your schedule and make time for rest. Get off the crazy train! Give yourself some margin in your life.

Or, if you've got migraines, fatigue, allergies or some other lethargia-inducing medical problem, it may be time for a check-up with your physician or dietician. Diet is especially important when it comes to having energy. One thing that often comes with caffeine addiction is sugar addiction, which can zap your energy with your blood sugar spikes and dips. I will cover sugar addiction in another post.

Also,we all know caffeine can keep you from sleeping or sleeping well at night. That may be why you are tired to begin with. If you can't get in the seven to nine hours most of us adults need at night, try taking a 20 minute power nap during your lunch break in your car or during your child's nap. It may be just the boost you need to get through the rest of your day.

So good and bad news about caffeine addiction: Bad news- Your body will build up a tolerance to caffeine very quickly. It only takes a few days. The good news is, if you decide to stop taking caffeine, the worst of your withdrawal symptoms will probably be over in about 2-4 days. If you decide to do this, it is wise to wean off the caffeine slowly. Try half-caf for awhile then switch to decaf gradually. If you decide to go cold turkey, those first few days will probably be a doozy for you- you may want to stock up on the aspirin and/or Tylenol (but not Anacin or Excedrin as they both contain caffeine). If you're still wanting to have a little caffeine, and don't really like decaf, I also suggest green or black tea sweetened with a little honey or agave nectar and with spices added in for more flavor. I like to add sage to black tea for a  middle-eastern flavor. By the way, if you're wondering how much caffeine is in your favorite drink, here's a link for you to check out:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/nutrition-and-healthy-eating/in-depth/caffeine/art-20049372

Mayo Clinic is a very reputable source for health information. I think you will find the above chart helpful.

So, my personal experience is that my personality changes when I drink too much caffeine. I get moody if I've had caffeine earlier in the day or the day before and then stop taking it. I sometimes just want to yell at everyone and throw things (I usually don't though). This is not cool. I begin to depend on caffeine to make my brain work faster in social situations. I become more chatty. I feel I should be able to come up with conversation topics without putting myself on super-speed. Not to mention, I think I can get pretty annoying to whomever I'm talking to when I'm over-caffeinated.

I also admit I use caffeine to get housework done. I struggle to keep my energy up during the day and often put off chores until the last hour or two before hubby gets home. This really is not a good thing, considering the fact that as a homemaker, my job is to take care of my daughter, and make the house a nice place to live and socialize in.

The main reason I want to overcome caffeine and other addictions? Because, as a believer in Christ, I want to be led by the Holy Spirit, not by artificial substances.

14For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  Romans 8:14 (NIV)

Everything is permissible for me," but not everything is helpful. "Everything is permissible for me," but I will not be brought under the control of anything. " 1 Cor. 6:12 (HCSB)

Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I try to refrain from using caffeine. If you know me, I usually do a terrible job at it. Therefore, I am in no position to judge anyone else for using caffeine for energy. And, let's face it, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get through the day. (I especially feel for you night-shifters)! Consider this a challenge for us all to think about why we are making the choices we are making concerning the things we put in our bodies and become dependent upon. Ask yourself how much caffeine you are having and why. Take an inventory of your health and emotional needs and see if there is another need that is not being met. Addictions can be symptoms of greater problems. Make sure you take care of yourself. You are worth it!

P.S. If you do have some sort of medical condition that for some reason does require you to take a supplement or substance containing caffeine, I apologize for my lack of knowledge about your prescription. I have not done extensive research as to which, if any, medical conditions require caffeine consumption. Please do not discontinue caffeine use if it is recommended or prescribed to you by your physician. This post is only meant as a self-challenge for those who are addicted to and dependent on caffeine who do not have a medical condition that requires it.

Is Motherhood a Competition? What's your Number?

If you know me well, you know I am a huge fan of the Duggar family. If you don't know who they are, they are a mega-family with 19 children, who live in my hometown of Springdale, AR. They have their own reality show on TLC.

Michelle Duggar, mother of the clan, has won at least one mother of the year award that I know of, possibly more than that. I'm sure she has won it every year in the hearts and minds of her children. She may have one of the biggest families in America, but I'm sure (based on what I've seen of her), she is not trying to have as many children as possible in order to "beat" other women at the "sport" of childbearing. She has simply embraced the fact that children are a blessing, and has a calling and an ability to have and raise that many children.

I must admit, however, I have the bad habit of watching the show and how much fun they have and think "maybe I should see how many children I can possibly have before I run out of eggs". Not only that, I think of my childhood and how it would have been nice to have a few more siblings around to play with. I always wanted a baby brother. In fact, I had already picked out his name- Cory.

I always thought, man two is not enough kids. I was, at times, quite lonely as a child. No disrespect to my parents, who felt that two was their number. So then I had the idea that I should have at least three because then my kids wouldn't be lonely. (Which, obviously, isn't necessarily true).

Then...I had Isla. She's a great baby and such a blessing to my life. However, the pregnancy and especially the postpartum period almost had me checking into an inpatient mental facility. I don't say that in jest; literally, I almost couldn't handle the mental distress that came with the hormones. That experience is another post for another day, though. Anywho, needless to say, I thought Isla might be an only child for awhile.

Now, I'm just not sure. It's so hard to figure out what "your number" should be. Some couples don't get any control over that number, and some people change their mind later and decide they want one or more kids later in life. The question I have for myself is, will I be satisfied with just two? I can't honestly say yes at this point. I know I definitely want at least one more. And I know to have more kids than your mom did to prove you can handle it is a stupid reason to have more kids. But is it a bad reason to have another child because you want a boy? If my next child is a girl, would it be bad to have another child to see if we get a boy? If my next child is a boy, should we call it done because we have one of each? Is it too difficult to afford more than two children? Can I stay sane if I have more than two kids? Can I stay sane if I have even one more child?

These are questions I really have no answers to. I differ from the Duggars in the way that I believe that God lets you decide how many kids you want to have. I have no qualms with birth control (unless it is abortifacient). If you "leave it up to God", you're really just leaving it up to biology as He designed it. To put it bluntly, if you have sex during ovulation and you and your partner are fertile, you will most likely get pregnant. If you are infertile and don't take fertility treatments, you probably won't get pregnant. (I know this is a simplistic way of thinking, but I'm being very general here). I do think, however, if you are a believer, you should seek God for wisdom on the bearing and raising of children, as you should seek him on all big decisions in life. Take an inventory of your situation ask him if this is a good time for you to have a child. Maybe he does have a large biological family in mind for you. Maybe he has adoption or foster care in mind for you. Maybe he needs you to be a surrogate parent to the neighborhood kids or to your nieces and nephews. Family is going to look a little different for each of us.

Amidst all the uncertainty, I know have to relinquish some control and let God direct me. And most of all, I can't compare myself to Michelle Duggar, my mother, or my friends. This goes for other things too. It's easy to think you have to do things a certain way because everyone else is. You have to find your own path and measure yourself by how well you are travelling down the path God has paved for you, not how you measure up compared to someone else's life.

In the future, I will be posting more on calling, and how I believe God is leading me. I will also try to keep you updated on the twists and turns along the way. For today, I will just leave you with this little word of encouragement from Proverbs 3:5-6:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)

Why I'm Back 2 Blogging (But luckily not Back 2 School!)

So...count on me to come back to my blog two years later...and to kick it off by writing it on paper and then transferring it to the blog site. Why? Because it was too late the other night to get my laptop out (didn't want to be up all night designing and didn't want to wake up Kenny, he was asleep on the couch) and doing that on my phone would have infuriated me. I thought I was starting a new blog, but I'm really just resurrecting an old one that I made one introduction post and one measly (but meaty) post on.

I've had other blogs before; one of them being Xanga. I'm sure any of you who went to college around the same time I did had or at least  remember hearing about Xanga. It was all the rage before Facebook got popular. You've gotta start somewhere...

After that, I did Facebook notes. I actually went to the Facebook Notes feature and realized people are still posting notes. I wish I had known. They are not showing up on my newsfeed. I've got a lot of catching up to do. Anywho, I figure other people aren't seeing those in their newsfeeds if I'm not, so I needed another option.

So here I am back on Blogger, which I will be linking each post to Facebook. When I first started this blog, I couldn't figure out how to design it and it looked terrible. But I used my brain and clicked on stuff until it looked right. (Spoken like a true web design artist). I also didn't even remember which site it was on but accidentally found it again today as friends suggested I try blogspot.com. Lo and behold, I was still signed in. That's my type of site. I can never remember any of my fifteen million usernames/passwords floating around out there, so that was quite handy.

So, why I am back in the blogging world in general you may ask? The main reason is, I'd like to share my thoughts with a wide audience, and I'm terrified of public speaking. It's not so much the fact that people are watching me (I can sing in front of large crowds, no problem- if well-prepared), but when I start speaking, teaching, preaching, telling a story etc., the words don't come out right. It's pretty much like verbal diarrhea. (Yeah I just dropped the "D" bomb).  It's all organized well in the compartments of my mind, but it all comes out in a disorganized, jumbled mess.

What I'm trying to say is, the thing I love about blogging/journaling is that I can get my thoughts out in a somewhat pure form without so many "bumbling idiot" moments. Sure I sometimes go on rants about things. Sure, I've probably got an electronic footprint that would embarrass the crap out of my mother. But I don't want to pretend I'm someone I'm not.  I'm here to help those of you out there who wonder if you're crazy because of the things you say, think or do. You're not alone out there. And I think that's the main reason people blog. So others will know they are not alone and to be reasurred  (through comments and feedback from others) that they are not alone either.

If being alone is not a concern for you, you probably aren't out there blogging or even reading this . You probably have a secret diary hidden under your mattress. But in case you are reading this, if that's you, you're not alone either, even if you want to be. Trust me, unless you live alone, someone has read that "secret" diary (most likely a pesky sibling, or a nosy parent or spouse).

Anyway, I'm here to say the things on my mind and hopefully I can say them in a tactful enough way to encourage others. Or at least in a coherent enough way to get others thinking. Topics will be pretty diverse and random so be prepared!

Next time I'm going to give a little more info about me and I've got some thoughts about motherhood as a competition. Get ready!

Beyond the Denominations: Why I’m not a “member” of a traditional Christian church

In American Christianity, we have a major problem with division. The Church (and I mean in the universal sense, no reference to any group) historically has been dividing since the first century AD.

Everyone wants to belong to a group. They want a group that can help them define who they are and what they believe. They want a group that is like-minded with them, who will accept them for who they are (not just how they present themselves), and who will add some value to their lives. Also, people desire to find a group to which they feel they add value to as well.

The problem is it is hard to get a large number of people to agree on doctrine, practice, and spirituality. Praise God, we have so many believers in Christ in our nation, but it is almost an unmanageable task to unite that many people. I am sure when Jesus comes back, he will be the one to do it right, but until then, it may never look perfect.

However problematic things are I still find myself wanting to at least try to make things more unified in Christianity, even though I have some rather “unorthodox” beliefs that would seemingly make it even harder to become unified with other Christians. That being said, there are several reasons why I don’t participate in this traditional, “orthodox”, denominational, divisive type of Christianity that pervades the Christian Church as a whole.

I hope not to offend any of you with what I say about what I believe, because I am not “anti” any group or person that is truly trying to serve God and live out what they believe. However, it may feel that way because some of my beliefs differ from traditional church teachings and practices. I am truly just trying to learn what the Bible actually says, not what any church, denomination or person says that it says. This is one of the main reasons I attend a home fellowship and am not a member of any of the local churches. I’m not saying that other churches are bad and I can’t get anything out of them, but it is very hard to listen to things I disagree with week after week. I won’t go into my beliefs specifically, at least not in this post. I would rather share my personal beliefs one on one with those who are truly interested in what I really think and believe about the Bible. I would be happy to share with anyone who is interested and not just looking for an argument

Another problem is I believe it is actually wrong that we have denominations in the first place. They are very unbiblical, and the Bible is clear that we are not to say “I am of Paul” or “I am of Apollos”. We would be “carnal” (worldly) if we were to do that. (1 Corinthians 3:4). I know we want to belong to a group, but we are to be the body of Jesus Christ and he is to be our head, not some set of denominational beliefs or a pastor, ministry leader or anyone else. We should question people who want us to follow their church or their pastor before they want us to follow Jesus and what he thinks is right for our lives.

Now, it is no secret that I attend a home fellowship instead of a traditional church service on a regular basis. What this means is that we gather in someone’s home (in my case it happens to be my in-laws’ house). We have a meal together and talk about the things of the Lord We talk about our week and our day and what’s going on with our lives. Sometimes we are just downright silly at the table. Then we begin the “official” meeting. We select songs out of a songbook we have made and we sing a few songs. Then someone may do a teaching or everyone may bring something to share from what they have been learning and what God has put on their heart. We also set aside a time for prayer. During this time people may pray, speak in tongues or give a prophecy to exhort the group. This is something you don’t really see in many churches. It is very powerful and awesome, to hear from God and speak in tongues and interpret a praise to God. Sadly, most churches either don’t do this at all or they do it in an unbiblical way.

The great thing about this format (and the reason why a lot of people don’t like this kind of format) is that it is very personal and people can openly share. Now, not every home fellowship is set up this way. I have been to home fellowships where it was not personal. There does have to be some creativity in order to have an open atmosphere. The problem with some big churches is that they don’t create the space for others to share. Some people like that because they don’t have to be vulnerable, they don’t have to be accountable, and they don’t have to be responsible for personal spiritual growth. Really nothing is required of them other than showing up to the service. But what about those of us who want to go deeper into the Word and have true fellowship with one another?  I know many churches are working very hard to create the kind of environment where people can grow spiritually and be more personal, but it seems that in order to do that, they have to create small groups, fellowship times and events outside of the main meeting. I would like to propose that the main meeting should be personal and the more occasional meeting should be a large worship and teaching type of meeting.

The main point I want to make is I understand why we have denominations. I know sometimes it is absolutely unavoidable. We have to split sometimes in order to stay at peace. Sometimes we can’t disagree on major doctrinal issues and have still true fellowship with one another. I get that. We need to fellowship with like-minded believers. For me, it really isn’t an issue of whether we meet in a house, a cathedral, or a coffee shop. The building, however, is to serve us instead of the other way around. I have seen many churches focus so heavily on church membership and making additions to accommodate the growth, that they neglect true spiritual growth and discipleship. Churches seem to be able to get people in and saved, but lack true discipleship. Churches need to make sure that the atmosphere they set up encourages personal spiritual growth and healthy relationships among fellow believers. That is not an exhaustive list of what a church should be doing, just some things I think most churches are lacking. Churches need to think outside the box a little more when it comes to the format of their meetings.

There are no easy solutions to these problems. It seems we have woven some thick webs that separate different groups of Christians from one another. We need to be more open to others while standing firm on the Word of God. We need to stop feeling like our church is the only church on the planet that has it “right”. We need to find out what we can learn from other believers instead of trying to convert them to our ways of thinking. We need to focus on the quality of relationships and spiritual growth in churches, not the quantity of members and building size. We should reach out to one another and celebrate the things we have in common, and try not to be so judgmental on the things we disagree about. I look forward to the day when everyone can see that there is only one true Church. It is the body of Christ and all who believe in him are members of the body.  I can’t wait to see all the saints drop their labels and truly see who they are in Christ. Let’s work our hardest toward having that kind of unity in Christ until he returns. 

Hey guys. I am gearing up to post a new blog and then put it up on Facebook. It WILL happen and soon! I just don't know how it will be received. See ya on the flipside!